Van Gogh

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Posts by Van Gogh

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  48

  To kill an American

  by LovesDubs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i really thought this was poignant.. .

  written by an australian dentist....and too good to delete..... .

  to kill an american.

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  Van Gogh

  Dave_T,
  First of all, let me state that this board has instilled in me a profound sense of appreciation of Americans, for their eloquence in language and leaving a cult – of course created by those same “Americans” many of us “Europeans” are still victim to. Of all the Europeans, only the Scandinavians seem to have significantly towed the apostate cart.
  There is a lot of wisdom in your words… but, I think the/our shame originates with the intuitive notion that we all have the potential to be those monsters at some point in our lives given the right circumstances. Yes, I at present would rather choose death over having to commit atrocities in order to save my own life (one of my sole reasons left for any belief in the existence of a God (within?)), but… think of all those child soldiers that committed unspeakable acts. Choice is relative and dependant on our progression on our path of life. Controlling the monster within often is dependant on circumstances beyond our control, not granted us by them, dependent on our progression on our path in life… as former membership of propagandistic system has shown already… we could have been Hitler’s willing executioners, circumstances beyond our control permitting. Some in my family were… (incidentally, their choice in being actively against or in favor of National Socialism both causing them to become JWs – so much for misdirected idealism)
  VG, of the “beyond judging” class. Hoping for ultimate redemption.
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  39

  Small, but meaningful, moments of joy...

  by daystar in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  in my office building we have a cafeteria that is run by another company.

  there is this one mexican woman who has just the most pleasant demeanor, every day.

  she greets everyone with a smile and a "how are you today, my friend?".

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  Van Gogh

  Daystar, thank you, what a wonderful post... just had to reply to this… this is what I have come to believe to be the essence of all and existence itself… ever since my sudden demise from dubdom…only six months ago, life spinning by in a rollercoaster ride… yet the longest six months in my life. Only seconds before reading your post I was reflecting on my newfound sense of abandonment by, and detachment of God. Yet, at the very same time I realized I probably never have felt such closeness to a source of love. Sorry about the cut and paste job but these comments resonate with me big time:
  
  “When people say "we are all connected", this is the sort of thing that is meant…”
  “We can all be the beacon that this woman is... all it takes is to let your light shine...”
  “joy, sending ripples of happiness to all involved”
  “it was only after I grew up that I realized what a selfless and generous thing that lovely woman did for a thoughtless teenager…”
  (((Brigid)))
  My closest connections at present somehow seem to be with the external cafeteria staff and cleaning people…
  ”angel to me this morning and we embraced as sisters, though this is the first time we've ever met, we connected and I was warmed by her radiant Light. And no doubt, I will pay it back either to her or someone else who finds themselves weeping and fearful…”
  “Little things like letting them go ahead of you in the checkout lane, or asking them if they think the oranges are good this time of year. makes their day to have someone speak to them kindly and listen to what they have to say…”
  (((Quandry)))
  “That you are here That life exists and identity That the powerful play goes on
  and you may contribute a verse…"
  “we are all connected....in one way or another…”
  "I shall... not... go... gently into that good... night... Rage! Rage, against the dying of the light!"
  Daystar, you’re poetry… it is all about light and connection.
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  21

  This just tears too deep into my gut...

  by Van Gogh in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i am struggling with maintaining my own sanity and very fundaments of existence after recently swiftly cutting all ties with with whatever i held to be dear, sacred and true, for what will have been most of my life...; .

  after learning about some disturbing developments in someone else's life, i reconnected with somebody from my past through the amazing internet again, telling i had left for ever and for good.

  this is a former elder, somebody i considered to be very successful in life... despite the borg.

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  Van Gogh

  I want to thank all of you again I haven’t replied to person: anewme, spectrum, juni, warlock, jgnat, lovesdubs, serendipity – all members of a special tribe – for sharing soulfully.

  What I did not tell you is that this guy is far away from whatever family he still has, having just moved out to the USA only a couple of years ago, and has also just lost his job… His mother will soon not be around any more, releasing family ties even more… at the age of fifty… I know his circumstances of being disfellowshipped are the very reason that might plunge him into loneliness even more. Holding on to some sort of hope or identifying with some group might be all that is left. There are limits to resilience…being all alone…

  Hi Megadude:

  “ The really sad thing is believing that the only hope in this existence comes from believing dishonest liars and poor writers at a publishing company in New York.”

  This is not the only hope of course. Any hope will do fine. But all of those hopes tend to be razed in the wake of enlightenment. WTS often destroys faith.

  Brenda:

  I have had the privilege of briefly encountering your hugs for real… fleeting passages, hugs in a hallway… still resonating.

  (((sspo))) My beautiful wife left me when I went back into JW. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

  Hi Ross , thanks for the link. I have very little time to keep up with JWD these days.

  Ian:

  Yes, the mourning after… Please keep well

  Crump: I’ll won’t be able to resist coaxing him onto this board – I would not want to rob him of the possibility of true friendships that are to be forged here.
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  21

  This just tears too deep into my gut...

  by Van Gogh in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i am struggling with maintaining my own sanity and very fundaments of existence after recently swiftly cutting all ties with with whatever i held to be dear, sacred and true, for what will have been most of my life...; .

  after learning about some disturbing developments in someone else's life, i reconnected with somebody from my past through the amazing internet again, telling i had left for ever and for good.

  this is a former elder, somebody i considered to be very successful in life... despite the borg.

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  Van Gogh

  Japan Boy,
  Being divorced from a beautiful woman... Keep strong
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  72

  Ballistic Does America

  by ballistic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey guys,.

  i can't spend long but just want to say what a great time i'm having in america.

  i'm in the middle of a thunder storm in manhattan, new york at the moment.

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  Van Gogh

  Hi balz bri,
  You sure come a long way in the great US of A since barby WSM...
  Driving toward limitless horizons...
  Great feeling someone's missing you back in Britain...
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  21

  This just tears too deep into my gut...

  by Van Gogh in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i am struggling with maintaining my own sanity and very fundaments of existence after recently swiftly cutting all ties with with whatever i held to be dear, sacred and true, for what will have been most of my life...; .

  after learning about some disturbing developments in someone else's life, i reconnected with somebody from my past through the amazing internet again, telling i had left for ever and for good.

  this is a former elder, somebody i considered to be very successful in life... despite the borg.

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  Van Gogh

  An old pair of shoes versus fighting for the light... Ultimately none of us should die in a lie... all of your treasured comments up till now will be savored in the spirit of ultimate survival somehow...
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  27

  Intro and ? that has probably been asked a zillion times...

  by Swamboozled in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't want to bore with the tedious details...but long story short: my husband was raised a jw.

  he da and married me 6 years ago.

  i was so appalled at the fact that his family shunned him that i insisted on a sit down with his mom to explain.

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  Van Gogh

  Swamboozled,
  I for one hope you, as a newby, will stick around on JWD...
  Gary:
  Things I've learned.
  Arguing with a Jehovah's Witness is like being in a pissing contest with a skunk.
  Never talk religion or Bible with a Jehovah's Witness.
  Never Question a Witness.
  Witnesses act as if they believe God lives in Brooklyn.
  Witnesses only have two rules:
  Rule#1. Always treat the Governing Body as if they're never wrong.
  Rule#2. If the Governing Body is ever wrong, see rule #1.
  Love ya Gary, as astute as ever...
  VG
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  15

  I'm Sorry

  by Lo-ru-hamah in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  yesterday, my mother, sister, son (3 year old) and i were shunned for the first time by someone that it actually hurt to be shunned by.

  my little brother, who is still a very active jw, told us that he will never see us again.

  he won't speak to us, write us, or communicate with us again.

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  Van Gogh

  Loruhamag,
  This HURTS - big time. Words fail... yet again.
  I still remember playing the Brenda Lee single on the portable grammophone we had at home thirty five years ago... It still holds a profound emotional significance to me. What a great song. Yes, I am sorry too...
  VG
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  27

  Intro and ? that has probably been asked a zillion times...

  by Swamboozled in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't want to bore with the tedious details...but long story short: my husband was raised a jw.

  he da and married me 6 years ago.

  i was so appalled at the fact that his family shunned him that i insisted on a sit down with his mom to explain.

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  Van Gogh

  Welcome swamboozled,
  I for one hope you'll stick around on JWD longer than most newbies do...
  VG
  (honorary member of the Amsterdam chapter of the great worldwide crowd of the ass class)
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  21

  This just tears too deep into my gut...

  by Van Gogh in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i am struggling with maintaining my own sanity and very fundaments of existence after recently swiftly cutting all ties with with whatever i held to be dear, sacred and true, for what will have been most of my life...; .

  after learning about some disturbing developments in someone else's life, i reconnected with somebody from my past through the amazing internet again, telling i had left for ever and for good.

  this is a former elder, somebody i considered to be very successful in life... despite the borg.

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  Van Gogh

  As I am struggling with maintaining my own sanity and very fundaments of existence after recently swiftly cutting all ties with with whatever I held to be dear, sacred and true, for what will have been most of my life...;
  after learning about some disturbing developments in someone else's life, I reconnected with somebody from my past through the amazing internet again, telling I had left for ever and for good. This is a former elder, somebody I considered to be very successful in life... despite the bOrg.
  
  This was his reply:
  
  "I too am learning the pangs of loneliness. Being disfellowshipped was a very dramatic event whilst I sat there emotionless. To have it said that 'XXXX XXXXXX is no longer a Jehovah's Witness actually tore deep in my stomach and I think I am still trying to understand my reaction. I do know that for all it's faults (people) that it is the truth, it's the place where I learned about Jehovah, where I learned about the purpose in life and also where I learned the hope for a future where I can see Dad again. I hopefully will be strong enough to deal with myself and get back at some time but right now I am having a break. Honestly, on my first morning in my apartment an elder from the local congregation called on me in the service and then having coffee in a cafe yesterday and four sisters offer me a tract - it's like I need to wear a banner that says 'I am disfellowshipped - leave me alone!'. To be honest I am very lonely and alone, but have been for many years. I do think I have mental issues and am seeing a shrink to see if I can get help.
  XXXX is as lovely as ever. We are still very close friends whilst we are both at heartbreak point. Our little boy is dealing with the whole scene pretty well so far.
  I was very saddened to hear that you had chosen to leave the truth, I always remember a CO telling us that he was in the truth despite the brothers and sisters. I hope that you have found a better way of life that works for you, you need to be happy.
  Please keep in touch."
  
  I am not sure if I will be able to react to any of your replies. It just hurts too much... I too loved his dad, more so, since leaving dubdom - I still share his hope, despite the fact that faith seems to be slipping through my fingers fast. The bOrg consists of so many special people. How much from my very gut I hope his hope to still have some validity. What can I do or say? Why destroy someones hope when losing just that is what is destroying me right now...?
  VG